When you have the opportunity to move out, do you take it or play it safe? This dilemma all started when my step-mum decided to one day casually bring up in conversation if I’d ever thought about moving out – hint hint! At first I was shocked but thinking about it there’s part of me that would love to move out. What nineteen year old doesn’t want to fly the nest as soon as possible? Moving out ultimately stands for freedom and the end to restrictive rules but I have always played it safe.
Since moving to Leeds and starting a full time job I’ve been living with my father, his wife and her children. In the beginning it was very much rainbows and sunshine but all good things must come to an end. Although it didn’t just come to an end! It ground to an awkward halt, imploded in on itself and now none of us communicate with each other – yet we still act like the perfect happy family to the outside world!
No one said it would be easy, but no one warned me how hard it would be either but no matter how hard it is at “home” moving out is not a choice to make on a whim. I’m aware it comes with all the responsibilities of being an adult and my life so far at the “Tranquility Household” has been rather cushy. I don’t have to worry about bills, food shopping or stress about any of those fun tasks you have as an adult. I have very little faith in myself when it comes to working a washing machine or dishwasher, let alone remembering to lock the door in case of burglars. A huge advantage of staying at home is that my income stays as a disposable income. I’ve always been sensible when it comes to money and that is one aspect of moving out that worries me. If I did move out, would I continue to be able to afford everything that I have become accustom to. (Simple answer. NO!)
But when my sanity is at stake is it not justifiable for me to take the risk? I cannot live in a house where the inhabitants don’t want me around. Life is never the easiest thing to begin with, in fact it is bloody hard so why am I so scared to take it by the horns and tackle it straight on? I’m sure with some practice I can master the art of living alone.. and cooking. Failing that I have no problem in eating toast for the rest of my life. I could even mix it up a little on special occasions and eat beans on toast – ha! I’m pretty sure my “family” wouldn’t see my starve though. I have wanted to leave for a while and I feel like I’m finally at that fork in the road where I need to make a decision. I keep saying to myself, if not now then when? I can hardly say that I’m making this decision on a whim when it is all I think about.
If I’m being totally honest, my mind was already made when I started writing this blog post. I only wanted to see it typed out so it felt like I’d at least tried to make it work at home. Some things aren’t meant to work though. That fork in the road that I mentioned was really a one way street. It is all very exciting thinking about what my life will be like living by myself. All I have to do now is tell the parentals of my decision. That I believe will probably be the most difficult part of this process. For now all it is, is an idea squirming around in my brain and once they know I cannot take it back.
Send me lots of luck and I’m sure I’ll blog about it in the future. Until then, stay awesome. Em x