A familiar place is limbo.
Like an old friend, greeted
so warmly in a tight embrace.
Held firmly for a moment
too long, this friendship turns sinister.
Paralysed in a constant unescapable
nightmare. Lingering on a knifes
edge, testing my endurance. Unprepared
a sudden onset tears at the fragile
seams holding me together.
Living under the bell jar, life
unfulfilling and temporary.
These thoughts echo in my mind
floating in the foreground. Unbelievably
hard to ignore.
Riddled with boredom I’m an expressionless
machine on repeat, fighting
to find a distraction. Void of all emotion
and severely lacking personality I squander my time
chasing happiness to dead ends.
Yet time slows, grinding to a halt. Relentless
in its mocking, unable to skip.
In light bound by a numb pain, hiding
the shattered me in the safety of darkness.
Trapped in a loop of my own mortality.
Suffocating on life. Oxygen
turned enemy, it deliberately poisons my mind.
Suffering in silence, disease spreads
with an iron grip, seeping into every nerve.
Depression! A word lost in a sea
of false screams. Disregarded and each day dragging
me closer to that final destination.
To surrender would be easy when
dying is the only option.