Ever feel like what you describe as “moving on” is really just running away from your problems? Because that is what I’ve done…
You want an explanation? Well, I MOVED TO LEEDS!! To be fair it is my original hometown so it is vaguely familiar but it isn’t the same place when I left almost 10 years ago to move to Scotland.
In all honesty the moving didn’t scare me half as much as I thought it would, its only now that I’ve been in Leeds almost TWO MONTHS that I’m thinking it was a rash decision. Don’t get me wrong, in the long run it will be better for me because there are a lot more opportunities here but now I’m here I can’t help but feel I moved for the wrong reasons.
It was hard to admit at first but I ran away from my problems instead facing them head on. I know this because I cannot shake the fact that my problems have followed me to Leeds, or at least I just have new ones to face that are as equally horrible. I miss Scotland terribly. My whole life is there, or at least was but now I’m hundreds of miles away, sitting in my bedroom in Leeds.
However, fear not as this blog post is not all gloom and doom! I came across a quote the other day which was perhaps the turning point I really needed.
“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”
I’m not going to lie to you and say that I’m not scared because I am, very much so but sometimes a little bit of fear it what you need. It reminds you that you have to live to the full, cliche as it may seem, and not get comfortable in a routine. If we aren’t scared and don’t take risks every once in a while then why is the point?
This is all very easy for me to type, publish and then forget about but I’ve been looking at the “closed door” for too long now and I’m tired of it. I may still acknowledge its existence but I’m ready to swing the new door off it’s hinges and to not look back… Don’t you just love a metaphor!?
Whether that is me making an effort to continue with my writing (I started to write a novel) or to not get down about being away from my family in Scotland. A little homesickness is okay though, right!!?
This post probably (most definitely) doesn’t make any sense but sometimes a rant is just needed to clear the air. As a full time working girl, blog posts are probably going to be very hit and miss for a while but now that I’ve stopped running away and I’m determined to move on with my life, hopefully I will get back into the swing of things again.
That being said I’ll shut up now as I don’t want to make any false promises. I’d be interested to know if you’ve made any rash decisions before and if they paid off or not?
Till then, swing that door off its hinge! – Em
P.S My blog has officially reached it’s one year mark – yay!
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